MANDALA MEDITATIONS - One day workshop
APRIL 27TH in VICTORIA
For more info: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/edit?eid=59858461269
I have spent most of my life being pattern phobic. My home is neutral. All my furniture is different shades of antique white, most of which I painted myself. I call it my vintage look. I like it. Somehow, I acquired a purple sofa. It’s a very pleasing shade of dark purple so it is allowed. It is plain. So are the cushions. So are the off-white rugs. Now, don’t get me wrong. I do love a good Persian rug. I love visiting exotic places. I love being in and amongst colour and sound and smells and chaos. For a short while. And then I need to go home to my peaceful, neutral, pattern free home… and clothes.
I put it down to the fact that my head is busier than spaghetti junction in peak rush hour. There is so much going on that I need my environment to be as calming as possible. Even clutter bothers me. I cannot bear too many things on display. And I cannot work until everything is tidy. But the Universe works in mysterious ways, as we know.
I put it down to the fact that my head is busier than spaghetti junction in peak rush hour. There is so much going on that I need my environment to be as calming as possible. Even clutter bothers me. I cannot bear too many things on display. And I cannot work until everything is tidy. But the Universe works in mysterious ways, as we know.
So, I am, and always have been, very committed to the explorations of the unconscious and had always wanted to go to Peru to do plant medicine with shamans. I was adamant that I would only do it in the jungle, having harvested the vine myself and fully embracing it as a sacred ceremony. I was waited for the right time and the right people to appear for years. Then one day, a few years ago, a good friend of mine sent me an email. It was an advert for a weekend experience with some Brazilian shamans who were coming to the UK. They were going to be doing sacred ceremonies in a spot outside London. I am rarely immediately decisive, I often have to ponder on things and take my time to make a decision, but this time – which really surprised me – my entire body and mind was screaming ‘Yes’. I didn’t even read the blurb.
It turned out to be a very good decision. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. The scariest and the most blissful – all at the same time. In one of the sessions my consciousness was blown completely open and I got to see the fabric of the universe and what everything was made up of. Millions and millions of small, brilliantly coloured, patterned balls of energy. Like mini atoms. All vibrating at different rates. The denser the item the slower and bigger the atom. Human atoms were very fast and very bright. It was too intense at one point. And I tried to open my eyes to have a reprieve and then realised that what I was seeing wasn’t just in my mind. It was the same with my eyes open as when they were shut. It was way too much for my senses. I was also now aware that nothing was solid, including me. I tried to look at my hands but all I could make out were these molecules of energy spinning. There was nothing solid, nothing I could hold on to. I felt like I had lost the plot. I have honestly never been more scared in my entire life.
It turned out to be a very good decision. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. The scariest and the most blissful – all at the same time. In one of the sessions my consciousness was blown completely open and I got to see the fabric of the universe and what everything was made up of. Millions and millions of small, brilliantly coloured, patterned balls of energy. Like mini atoms. All vibrating at different rates. The denser the item the slower and bigger the atom. Human atoms were very fast and very bright. It was too intense at one point. And I tried to open my eyes to have a reprieve and then realised that what I was seeing wasn’t just in my mind. It was the same with my eyes open as when they were shut. It was way too much for my senses. I was also now aware that nothing was solid, including me. I tried to look at my hands but all I could make out were these molecules of energy spinning. There was nothing solid, nothing I could hold on to. I felt like I had lost the plot. I have honestly never been more scared in my entire life.
Now, if I am really honest, I had taken two extra cups of the medicine to make sure that I really did it properly, so it didn’t really come as that much of a surprise when I heard the voice of Mother Aya – the spirit of the Vine – saying ‘You wanted it, you went for it… and now you’re gonna get it!’. ‘Shit’ I thought ‘I’m in big trouble now’. She spoke again. Not quite as harshly this time. ‘What have you been doing for the last few years?’ I had been doing a whole load of stuff. How could I narrow it down? ‘Seriously,’ she said ‘what have you been working on?’
The penny dropped. I was suddenly aware of all the inner work I had been doing. All the sessions, past life and current life, I had been through. There had been a strong theme. In all of those lives and experiences, I had been tested. A lot of them had involved sacrifice of some sort. And in all of them, instead of going into a place of fear, I had found a way to focus on love instead. As a result, I was able to tune in to the energy of love in my heart centre. I had used this focus on love to help me move through even the most difficult of times. I might not be able to see my hands but I knew where my heart centre was. I shifted my focus. I moved my awareness into my heart. And as soon as I did so the entire experience turned into the most beautiful, blissful kaleidoscope of light and colour. It was like being bathed in love. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. But I was instantly thrown back into the fear space. Where it was all too much. Then back to the bliss. Back to the love. Back to the fear. And I forcibly moved my awareness back to the love and held it with all my focus. Mother Aya laughed at me. 'Fear or love’ she said ‘You decide. What’ll it be? This won’t last forever; don’t you think it would be a good idea to make the most of it?' I could only agree. I was also acutely aware that she wasn’t just talk about the plant medicine experience, she was talking about life. I got the message.
The penny dropped. I was suddenly aware of all the inner work I had been doing. All the sessions, past life and current life, I had been through. There had been a strong theme. In all of those lives and experiences, I had been tested. A lot of them had involved sacrifice of some sort. And in all of them, instead of going into a place of fear, I had found a way to focus on love instead. As a result, I was able to tune in to the energy of love in my heart centre. I had used this focus on love to help me move through even the most difficult of times. I might not be able to see my hands but I knew where my heart centre was. I shifted my focus. I moved my awareness into my heart. And as soon as I did so the entire experience turned into the most beautiful, blissful kaleidoscope of light and colour. It was like being bathed in love. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. But I was instantly thrown back into the fear space. Where it was all too much. Then back to the bliss. Back to the love. Back to the fear. And I forcibly moved my awareness back to the love and held it with all my focus. Mother Aya laughed at me. 'Fear or love’ she said ‘You decide. What’ll it be? This won’t last forever; don’t you think it would be a good idea to make the most of it?' I could only agree. I was also acutely aware that she wasn’t just talk about the plant medicine experience, she was talking about life. I got the message.
Many other incredible things happened that weekend, but the most extraordinary thing was that a few weeks afterwards I suddenly felt myself compelled to paint. I had painted some angels a few years previously, so I had canvas and acrylics. This time I was up all night creating the most vibrant, vivid, patterned mandala. It happened every night for a week. It was like I was trying to recreate the spinning molecules of energy I had seen. They all had their own voice, their own message. I had no idea what was going to appear and the intensity and detail of them sort of hurt my head. But they were so beautiful in their own way that I fell in love with them regardless.
That was years ago and thus far, I have over eighty of them and they just keep coming. I did some research and found that the name Mandala means Circle in Sanskrit. I hadn’t known that. Mandalas have been in use since the 4th Century, with most Eastern traditions having a place for them. They are often made out of sand or coloured powder, which are destroyed after a time to represent the impermanence of the universe and the cycles and spirals of life. Jung believed that they represented the divinity within man and that people were drawn to create them when they had reached a certain level in their lives, where they had evolved to a level where they were able to access higher levels of consciousness. The mandalas being portals through which they could get there.
That was years ago and thus far, I have over eighty of them and they just keep coming. I did some research and found that the name Mandala means Circle in Sanskrit. I hadn’t known that. Mandalas have been in use since the 4th Century, with most Eastern traditions having a place for them. They are often made out of sand or coloured powder, which are destroyed after a time to represent the impermanence of the universe and the cycles and spirals of life. Jung believed that they represented the divinity within man and that people were drawn to create them when they had reached a certain level in their lives, where they had evolved to a level where they were able to access higher levels of consciousness. The mandalas being portals through which they could get there.
My mandala creations had, for years, been something very private. Something I did at home alone. They were my means to focus, relax, unwind, de-stress. But as time went on and I saw the reactions that people had to them I realised that I couldn’t keep them to myself, or the benefits that came from creating them. So, a new adventure has come to life. One that I hadn’t even thought of. I was invited to create a Mandala event for Inspiral in Cambridge. Krysia, my fabulous host, insisted people would come. I had no idea. No one was more surprised than me when thirty-three people showed up. It was amazing. I took everyone through a short meditation to guide them to a place where they could access one of their best memories, to a good feeling place. And once they had found the positive feeling to allow their higher mind to help them create and image… or choose the right colours to represent their feeling. When they opened their eyes, they got to create their own mandalas which could be used as tools to reconnect to those good feelings. I felt so emotional as I walked the room seeing the incredible mandalas that were created. It was such a joyful event. People had permission to allow their inner child free rein. It wasn’t about getting it right or being artistic, it was about creation, freedom, play, expression. They were all in their own ways masterpieces and I felt overjoyed that the gift could be shared, that the mandalas could now spread – bringing their magic to the world.
I am going to be creating many more events like this and look forward to all that beautiful cretions that will find their way into the world.
For more information about the Mandala Meditation Day on April 27th click here.
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/edit?eid=59858461269
Further dates will be announced via my website.
For more information about the Mandala Meditation Day on April 27th click here.
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/edit?eid=59858461269
Further dates will be announced via my website.
RSS Feed