This Past Life has been copied word for word from the transcript of the session.
Names may have been changed for privacy reasons.
PAST LIFE STORY 4
Kara came because she was having difficulties with settling anywhere, she always seemed to be on the move. She had grown up in Australia and from what she could remember it had seemed like an idyllic childhood. But, something had always bothered her. It was something about her relationship to her Father. The problem was so extreme that she had travelled halfway around the world to create a distance between them. She could not say what the problem was exactly, which made it all the worse, but she could not be alone with him for any length of time and even speaking to him on the phone was hard for her. What tortured her mind the most was the fact that she could not remember anything bad ever having happened to make her feel this way. This led her to believe that whatever had happened must have been so horrendous that she had blanked it out and had forced herself to forget.
She also had great difficulty settling anywhere, as soon as she got settled in a new job or a new home she would get itchy feet and have to move on and the same was happening for her in her relationships too. One partner had been play fighting with her and had pretended to strangle her, she was so distressed that she ended the relationship the next day. She was beginning to despair that she would never settle and never be able to find any answers to her deepest fears.
The session began and I asked her what she was experiencing, she said “I am a young girl, about 16 years old and I have very long dark hair, I have nothing on my feet and I am wearing very little, I am in the jungle in Fiji and the date is 1649, I am running, I am running very fast and I am frightened, someone is chasing me and I have to get away!” as she spoke her whole body began to shake violently.I asked who was following her and she said “It is a man, and he is catching up, I cannot go any faster, I am running through the trees but there is nowhere to hide…I am so afraid” by now tears are running down her face and she is still shaking all over “ Oh, god, he has me, I am trapped, he has grabbed me from behind” I ask her who the man is and she shakes her head as if in disbelief and says “It is my father”. I ask her why he is chasing her and she says “He is afraid that I will leave him, just as my mother did a year ago when she died.”
I ask her why he is behaving so strangely and she says “Earlier today he was approached by one of the tribesmen about taking me as a wife and he has become distraught, he does not want me to leave him alone and so he has decided that I am never allowed to leave him, but it is not fair, I want to live, I want to have my own life”. I ask her what happens next and she says “ he is taking me deep into the jungle now, he has prepared a shelter there, it is made of reeds and leaves and the barks of trees, but he has made it strong so that I cannot escape, he intends to keep me here, as his prisoner….he intends for me to never leave him! He is too strong for me and so I have no choice but to go into the shelter, I can only hope that in time he will change his mind!” she sighs with resignation and I ask her to move on.
“I am older now, many years older, and I am still trapped, I have not left this shelter since the day he put me here, he feeds me every day and speaks to me from outside, sometimes he even sings me songs, I know that he loves me in his own strange way and I do not have it in my heart to hate him but I am dying inside…..I long to feel the warmth the sun on my skin and to bathe in the waters of the ocean.”
I ask her if she has tried talking to him and she says “I try to persuade him that I will not leave him but he is too afraid that anyone will see me and make him set me free. He has told the people that I died of the same fever that my mother had and so they have forgotten me. I feel so trapped so alone, so desolate!”
I ask her what her biggest fear is and she says “My father is getting older and I am so afraid that something will happen to him and I will be left here to die, the fear eats away at me and I find no solace in sleep, nightmares of being caged like an animal and of dying without ever seeing the world haunt me.”
I ask her to move on to the next significant memory “More years have passed. I am still trapped. My father is growing older and weaker, my fears are stronger every day that I will die here alone and I begin to plot a way to escape, I no longer worry about what may happen if I try to get away, my life no longer has any meaning. I wait until he brings me my food and once the shutter is open I throw myself into it with all of my strength, the shutter gives way and I smash to the ground splintering the wooden posts that hold the shelter in place. My father is screaming at me, his face is twisted and contorted and he throws his hands around my neck, he is screaming that I am ungrateful, that he has cared for me and that I am a bad daughter, that I have no right to leave him and as he screams his hands just get tighter and tighter around my neck until I can no longer breathe, he keeps squeezing and squeezing until all the air has gone out of me and at last I am free! I can feel myself floating out of my body and looking down on the tragic scene!” Huge tears are running down her face and it takes a while before the shaking subsides.
I asked her to review the lifetime from her now dissociated position and as she has immediate recognition, she gasps “the man who was my father then, is my father now, he has come back to make it up to me, because he is sorry for the suffering he caused me in Fiji, that means that he is a good man this time, there is nothing for me to be worrying about!” this time she cried but they were tears of relief. She realized where all of her feelings of fear relating to being tied down to jobs or homes or even relationships may have come from and this was a wonderful opportunity for her to allow a symbolic healing of the fear to take place. I gave her instructions that enabled her to release all of the previously held onto negativity.
She also recognized why she had responded so badly to having anyone touch her neck, and laughed as she realized that even polo neck jumpers had been a problem for her. Once she was awake I asked her how she was feeling and she said that she felt a wonderful feeling of lightness as though she had let go of a huge weight that she had been carrying. The following day she called home to Australia and had a very long and emotional talk with her father, he was filled with joy that she would now feel safe with him. She arranged to go home and spend some quality time with him. Since then she has also made some huge changes to the rest of her life. She has met a wonderful man, got engaged, purchased her first home in the UK, found a job that she enjoys that she really felt she could commit to, until the imminent arrival of her first child . She is now enjoying being a mother. What she is really looking forward to is her father arriving so that he can be there for her and meet his first grandchild.
She also had great difficulty settling anywhere, as soon as she got settled in a new job or a new home she would get itchy feet and have to move on and the same was happening for her in her relationships too. One partner had been play fighting with her and had pretended to strangle her, she was so distressed that she ended the relationship the next day. She was beginning to despair that she would never settle and never be able to find any answers to her deepest fears.
The session began and I asked her what she was experiencing, she said “I am a young girl, about 16 years old and I have very long dark hair, I have nothing on my feet and I am wearing very little, I am in the jungle in Fiji and the date is 1649, I am running, I am running very fast and I am frightened, someone is chasing me and I have to get away!” as she spoke her whole body began to shake violently.I asked who was following her and she said “It is a man, and he is catching up, I cannot go any faster, I am running through the trees but there is nowhere to hide…I am so afraid” by now tears are running down her face and she is still shaking all over “ Oh, god, he has me, I am trapped, he has grabbed me from behind” I ask her who the man is and she shakes her head as if in disbelief and says “It is my father”. I ask her why he is chasing her and she says “He is afraid that I will leave him, just as my mother did a year ago when she died.”
I ask her why he is behaving so strangely and she says “Earlier today he was approached by one of the tribesmen about taking me as a wife and he has become distraught, he does not want me to leave him alone and so he has decided that I am never allowed to leave him, but it is not fair, I want to live, I want to have my own life”. I ask her what happens next and she says “ he is taking me deep into the jungle now, he has prepared a shelter there, it is made of reeds and leaves and the barks of trees, but he has made it strong so that I cannot escape, he intends to keep me here, as his prisoner….he intends for me to never leave him! He is too strong for me and so I have no choice but to go into the shelter, I can only hope that in time he will change his mind!” she sighs with resignation and I ask her to move on.
“I am older now, many years older, and I am still trapped, I have not left this shelter since the day he put me here, he feeds me every day and speaks to me from outside, sometimes he even sings me songs, I know that he loves me in his own strange way and I do not have it in my heart to hate him but I am dying inside…..I long to feel the warmth the sun on my skin and to bathe in the waters of the ocean.”
I ask her if she has tried talking to him and she says “I try to persuade him that I will not leave him but he is too afraid that anyone will see me and make him set me free. He has told the people that I died of the same fever that my mother had and so they have forgotten me. I feel so trapped so alone, so desolate!”
I ask her what her biggest fear is and she says “My father is getting older and I am so afraid that something will happen to him and I will be left here to die, the fear eats away at me and I find no solace in sleep, nightmares of being caged like an animal and of dying without ever seeing the world haunt me.”
I ask her to move on to the next significant memory “More years have passed. I am still trapped. My father is growing older and weaker, my fears are stronger every day that I will die here alone and I begin to plot a way to escape, I no longer worry about what may happen if I try to get away, my life no longer has any meaning. I wait until he brings me my food and once the shutter is open I throw myself into it with all of my strength, the shutter gives way and I smash to the ground splintering the wooden posts that hold the shelter in place. My father is screaming at me, his face is twisted and contorted and he throws his hands around my neck, he is screaming that I am ungrateful, that he has cared for me and that I am a bad daughter, that I have no right to leave him and as he screams his hands just get tighter and tighter around my neck until I can no longer breathe, he keeps squeezing and squeezing until all the air has gone out of me and at last I am free! I can feel myself floating out of my body and looking down on the tragic scene!” Huge tears are running down her face and it takes a while before the shaking subsides.
I asked her to review the lifetime from her now dissociated position and as she has immediate recognition, she gasps “the man who was my father then, is my father now, he has come back to make it up to me, because he is sorry for the suffering he caused me in Fiji, that means that he is a good man this time, there is nothing for me to be worrying about!” this time she cried but they were tears of relief. She realized where all of her feelings of fear relating to being tied down to jobs or homes or even relationships may have come from and this was a wonderful opportunity for her to allow a symbolic healing of the fear to take place. I gave her instructions that enabled her to release all of the previously held onto negativity.
She also recognized why she had responded so badly to having anyone touch her neck, and laughed as she realized that even polo neck jumpers had been a problem for her. Once she was awake I asked her how she was feeling and she said that she felt a wonderful feeling of lightness as though she had let go of a huge weight that she had been carrying. The following day she called home to Australia and had a very long and emotional talk with her father, he was filled with joy that she would now feel safe with him. She arranged to go home and spend some quality time with him. Since then she has also made some huge changes to the rest of her life. She has met a wonderful man, got engaged, purchased her first home in the UK, found a job that she enjoys that she really felt she could commit to, until the imminent arrival of her first child . She is now enjoying being a mother. What she is really looking forward to is her father arriving so that he can be there for her and meet his first grandchild.