This Past Life has been copied word for word from the transcript of the session.
Names may have been changed for privacy reasons.
PAST LIFE STORY 3
Andy came for a session because he was curious about the idea of Past Life regression. There were things that had happened in his life that just did not seem to make sense. He had carried a feeling for a very long time that life was not giving him enough. He was unable to really settle to anything, whether it be jobs or relationships. There was a distinct feeling that the grass was always greener on the other side. He was struggling to find contentment. The biggest question for him was based around the fact that he walked out on his first marriage to a woman that he loved and two small children, with no real explanation. One day he just got up and felt compelled to leave and he was unable to go back. It still made no sense to him as, even though both he and his ex wife now had new partners, he had never stopped loving her and even more confusingly nothing had actually gone wrong in their relationship. He had just felt there was no choice, he had to leave and that was that.
He really wanted to know if the answer to his strange behavior may have some relevance in the past. He wanted to know what was stopping him from achieving feelings of contentment and being able to accept that ‘ this is it’ in life.
The journey began. He said ‘ It’s dark, so dark that I cannot see my body but my leg feels heavy. There is something tied around the bottom of it, it feels like a heavy chain. My foot feels really heavy as if there is something there pulling it down. I cannot see what it is attached to as it is so dark. My name is Tom Harwick, I am in my early twenties and I am wearing very little, what I am wearing is no more than rags. The year is 1876, I am feeling really cold. I am in prison, I am not sure what I am supposed to have done, I don’t think that I have done anything bad. I think it is something to do with a ship. Ah, yes, we were caught. The name of the ship was the Rose. Ooh, I am really cold now, I think I fell in the water, some men attacked the ship. I think they were French. I am so cold and it is so dark. I am completely alone and I cannot hear anyone else. I don’t know what they want with me or what they are going to do, they will probably just keep me here until I die. I am not sure how long I have been here now because I have lost all track of time. All I know is that my hair has got very long, I haven’t had a hair cut for ages. I feel really quite lonely and there is nothing that I can do. It is very frustrating and so very cold.’ He visibly shivers.
The scene shifts and this time it goes back to a time a few years earlier ‘It’s sunny, I am in a field somewhere, the sun is really bright and its not cold. I am just a teenager. I can see a blonde girl, she is very pretty. I like her. She is smiling at me, I think she likes me even thought this is the first time that we have seen each other. We just keep looking at each other. She is carrying some flowers in her hand and she has really lovely long blonde hair. In her other hand she has a little basket’ he laughs. ‘ her name is Violet and she really is very pretty. She is just going for a stroll really, she has nothing specific to do, she is just out for a walk. Oh she has flowers in her hair as well. She is wearing a long white dress. She is a local girl and lives on a nearby farm. We speak to each other briefly but she has to go back to the farm and I have to get back to the ship. It is leaving soon, not sure where we are headed. I think we are going to Spain. I am going to speak to Violet about it, she is quite shy and doesn’t say a lot but she says that she will wait for me and that she will see me when I get back. I am a bit nervous, I am still a very young man and I don’t get to talk to girls that much. I had better get going anyway. I have to go to Portsmouth.’
The scene shifts again ‘ The captain of the ship is called Nichols, he is a good captain, although I don’t have much to do with him. I just help around the ship, cleaning the decks, helping with the guns. I make sure they are clean. I have been working on the ship for about a year, I joined because I wanted to be a sailor. It was only me and my mum and she didn’t mind me going away to sea. I think she was quite proud of me, even though she misses me.’ He sighs. ‘ My main job is to look after the cannons, one of them in particular and help to man it when we need to fight with other ships. There are three or four of us that have that duty, one of them is called Rob. I don’t know the other men that well, they are all a lot older than me. One of them has got a beard, he looks after me a little bit, his name is Tommy, he has been on the ship for many years’ he laughs ‘ he has a big round belly. I like being out at sea, being out in the sun and the breeze. It is hard work though. They look after you as long as you pull your weight and do your work. Our ship is specifically a fighting ship, we fight with the French and at times the Spanish. We fight for the Queen. She is very important, we have to protect the Queen, we have got to look after England. I miss Violet though, I always wonder what she is doing, I can still remember her lovely long hair. I am sad at not being with her. I shouldn’t have left her really but I had to.’ At this he gets quite upset and his voice gets high and emotional ‘ I just miss Violet, I shouldn’t have left her! The scene moves on a little. ‘Just sailing the high seas now, the sea is quiet rough today. The captain hasn’t told us where we are going, it’s a nice day, choppy sea but at least the sun is out. It seems that we are looking for some ships that are stealing stuff, I think they might be pirates of some sort.’ His voice goes a bit dreamy as though he has drifted off ‘ I do miss Violet though and I don’t know when I’m going to get back to her, its going to be a while but hopefully she will be waiting for me when I get back’
Once again the scene shifts and this time he finds himself back in the prison cell but more time has passed since the first time. ‘It’s cold again and its dark, I am in a cell and it is really cold. I don’t think that I am going to get home. My foot isn’t heavy any more, I think they have taken the chain off. I am by myself again and there is just the cold stone walls of the cell all around me. I am so cold’ he shivers violently in the chair. ‘ I have got a real pain in my leg, my left leg is really hurting. Its not the one that had the chain on, it is the other leg. I can’t really walk on it. It looks like there is a large gaping hole in it.’ He grabs the top of his leg and squeezes it tightly. ‘ I was shot. It is very painful. I have some sort of bandage on it that I made myself from the rags that I was wearing. It happened after they captured the ship, I was trying to get away and they shot me to stop me from escaping. It was someone from the ship, I think they may be French, I can’t be sure though. I haven’t seen any one since I have been in here, they don’t give me a lot to eat: just a bit of water and bread. I get really thirsty. They don’t even come in to the room, they just throw it in the door. It’s a wooden door with a few grills at the bottom, they just chuck it in. I don’t know how long I am going to be kept here. I am tired and cold and all I can think about is going home, going to see Violet and wishing so much that I had never left. There is nothing else for me to think about.’
He sighs deeply and the scene moves on the point at which he leaves his body. ‘ I’m not moving anymore. I died in that cell of the cold and the hunger. Now it is really bright. My last conscious thought before I left that lifetime was of Violet, I just kept thinking that I shouldn’t have gone, I shouldn’t have left her. I can see now that my karmic lesson in that lifetime was about learning that you had to do the right thing, that when you had to go, you had to go. I had to leave Violet and I had to go to war. I was there to learn that I had to do what I was there to do. I had to make difficult decisions and the shame of it was that I died too young. I never got the chance to be with Violet, my life was just cut too short. I was left with a real feeling of regret and a sense of guilt because I said I was going to go back and I didn’t. I didn’t get a chance to do a lot of the things I would have wanted to do. The one good thing that I came away with was the sense of loyalty that I had for my role on the ship, I never let them down even though I had doubts about going. I see that as a real strength.
He suddenly breathed in very sharply. ‘ oh, Violet is Flora, my wife that I left in this life. It is very strange because I was exactly the same age in this life when I met Flora as Tom was when he met Violet, only this time I didn’t leave and I did get to marry her and have children with her…..oh lord, when I had the compulsion to leave her I was the same age as Tom when he died. It is almost as if I have replayed the events of that life without even realizing that I was doing it. Perhaps that explains why I left, I felt that I had to, it is what I did last time I was with her and it just felt like the natural thing to do again. What is really amazing though is the fact that I found her and did get the chance to be with her, even if it was just for a short time. Wow who knows if she is a soulmate perhaps in our next life we will get to be together for longer.’ He laughed again. ‘ How mad, I realize now that Tommy on the ship is my best friend in this life, I have always felt as though we have known each other forever, it seems that we may have.’ At this he smiles broadly and the session comes to an end.
Andy was amazed at the parallels from that life to this. And he experienced a real sense of relief at having some sort of explanation for his need to leave his wife when he had. It went some way to explaining his absolute passion for boats and his ex wife Floras phobia of boats. Perhaps unconsciously she recognized that they had been responsible for her losing him the once and she hadn’t wanted to lose him again. Although unfortunately it seemed that it had been inevitable that she would. The session had really gone a long way to answering questions that had been in his mind for the longest time.
He really wanted to know if the answer to his strange behavior may have some relevance in the past. He wanted to know what was stopping him from achieving feelings of contentment and being able to accept that ‘ this is it’ in life.
The journey began. He said ‘ It’s dark, so dark that I cannot see my body but my leg feels heavy. There is something tied around the bottom of it, it feels like a heavy chain. My foot feels really heavy as if there is something there pulling it down. I cannot see what it is attached to as it is so dark. My name is Tom Harwick, I am in my early twenties and I am wearing very little, what I am wearing is no more than rags. The year is 1876, I am feeling really cold. I am in prison, I am not sure what I am supposed to have done, I don’t think that I have done anything bad. I think it is something to do with a ship. Ah, yes, we were caught. The name of the ship was the Rose. Ooh, I am really cold now, I think I fell in the water, some men attacked the ship. I think they were French. I am so cold and it is so dark. I am completely alone and I cannot hear anyone else. I don’t know what they want with me or what they are going to do, they will probably just keep me here until I die. I am not sure how long I have been here now because I have lost all track of time. All I know is that my hair has got very long, I haven’t had a hair cut for ages. I feel really quite lonely and there is nothing that I can do. It is very frustrating and so very cold.’ He visibly shivers.
The scene shifts and this time it goes back to a time a few years earlier ‘It’s sunny, I am in a field somewhere, the sun is really bright and its not cold. I am just a teenager. I can see a blonde girl, she is very pretty. I like her. She is smiling at me, I think she likes me even thought this is the first time that we have seen each other. We just keep looking at each other. She is carrying some flowers in her hand and she has really lovely long blonde hair. In her other hand she has a little basket’ he laughs. ‘ her name is Violet and she really is very pretty. She is just going for a stroll really, she has nothing specific to do, she is just out for a walk. Oh she has flowers in her hair as well. She is wearing a long white dress. She is a local girl and lives on a nearby farm. We speak to each other briefly but she has to go back to the farm and I have to get back to the ship. It is leaving soon, not sure where we are headed. I think we are going to Spain. I am going to speak to Violet about it, she is quite shy and doesn’t say a lot but she says that she will wait for me and that she will see me when I get back. I am a bit nervous, I am still a very young man and I don’t get to talk to girls that much. I had better get going anyway. I have to go to Portsmouth.’
The scene shifts again ‘ The captain of the ship is called Nichols, he is a good captain, although I don’t have much to do with him. I just help around the ship, cleaning the decks, helping with the guns. I make sure they are clean. I have been working on the ship for about a year, I joined because I wanted to be a sailor. It was only me and my mum and she didn’t mind me going away to sea. I think she was quite proud of me, even though she misses me.’ He sighs. ‘ My main job is to look after the cannons, one of them in particular and help to man it when we need to fight with other ships. There are three or four of us that have that duty, one of them is called Rob. I don’t know the other men that well, they are all a lot older than me. One of them has got a beard, he looks after me a little bit, his name is Tommy, he has been on the ship for many years’ he laughs ‘ he has a big round belly. I like being out at sea, being out in the sun and the breeze. It is hard work though. They look after you as long as you pull your weight and do your work. Our ship is specifically a fighting ship, we fight with the French and at times the Spanish. We fight for the Queen. She is very important, we have to protect the Queen, we have got to look after England. I miss Violet though, I always wonder what she is doing, I can still remember her lovely long hair. I am sad at not being with her. I shouldn’t have left her really but I had to.’ At this he gets quite upset and his voice gets high and emotional ‘ I just miss Violet, I shouldn’t have left her! The scene moves on a little. ‘Just sailing the high seas now, the sea is quiet rough today. The captain hasn’t told us where we are going, it’s a nice day, choppy sea but at least the sun is out. It seems that we are looking for some ships that are stealing stuff, I think they might be pirates of some sort.’ His voice goes a bit dreamy as though he has drifted off ‘ I do miss Violet though and I don’t know when I’m going to get back to her, its going to be a while but hopefully she will be waiting for me when I get back’
Once again the scene shifts and this time he finds himself back in the prison cell but more time has passed since the first time. ‘It’s cold again and its dark, I am in a cell and it is really cold. I don’t think that I am going to get home. My foot isn’t heavy any more, I think they have taken the chain off. I am by myself again and there is just the cold stone walls of the cell all around me. I am so cold’ he shivers violently in the chair. ‘ I have got a real pain in my leg, my left leg is really hurting. Its not the one that had the chain on, it is the other leg. I can’t really walk on it. It looks like there is a large gaping hole in it.’ He grabs the top of his leg and squeezes it tightly. ‘ I was shot. It is very painful. I have some sort of bandage on it that I made myself from the rags that I was wearing. It happened after they captured the ship, I was trying to get away and they shot me to stop me from escaping. It was someone from the ship, I think they may be French, I can’t be sure though. I haven’t seen any one since I have been in here, they don’t give me a lot to eat: just a bit of water and bread. I get really thirsty. They don’t even come in to the room, they just throw it in the door. It’s a wooden door with a few grills at the bottom, they just chuck it in. I don’t know how long I am going to be kept here. I am tired and cold and all I can think about is going home, going to see Violet and wishing so much that I had never left. There is nothing else for me to think about.’
He sighs deeply and the scene moves on the point at which he leaves his body. ‘ I’m not moving anymore. I died in that cell of the cold and the hunger. Now it is really bright. My last conscious thought before I left that lifetime was of Violet, I just kept thinking that I shouldn’t have gone, I shouldn’t have left her. I can see now that my karmic lesson in that lifetime was about learning that you had to do the right thing, that when you had to go, you had to go. I had to leave Violet and I had to go to war. I was there to learn that I had to do what I was there to do. I had to make difficult decisions and the shame of it was that I died too young. I never got the chance to be with Violet, my life was just cut too short. I was left with a real feeling of regret and a sense of guilt because I said I was going to go back and I didn’t. I didn’t get a chance to do a lot of the things I would have wanted to do. The one good thing that I came away with was the sense of loyalty that I had for my role on the ship, I never let them down even though I had doubts about going. I see that as a real strength.
He suddenly breathed in very sharply. ‘ oh, Violet is Flora, my wife that I left in this life. It is very strange because I was exactly the same age in this life when I met Flora as Tom was when he met Violet, only this time I didn’t leave and I did get to marry her and have children with her…..oh lord, when I had the compulsion to leave her I was the same age as Tom when he died. It is almost as if I have replayed the events of that life without even realizing that I was doing it. Perhaps that explains why I left, I felt that I had to, it is what I did last time I was with her and it just felt like the natural thing to do again. What is really amazing though is the fact that I found her and did get the chance to be with her, even if it was just for a short time. Wow who knows if she is a soulmate perhaps in our next life we will get to be together for longer.’ He laughed again. ‘ How mad, I realize now that Tommy on the ship is my best friend in this life, I have always felt as though we have known each other forever, it seems that we may have.’ At this he smiles broadly and the session comes to an end.
Andy was amazed at the parallels from that life to this. And he experienced a real sense of relief at having some sort of explanation for his need to leave his wife when he had. It went some way to explaining his absolute passion for boats and his ex wife Floras phobia of boats. Perhaps unconsciously she recognized that they had been responsible for her losing him the once and she hadn’t wanted to lose him again. Although unfortunately it seemed that it had been inevitable that she would. The session had really gone a long way to answering questions that had been in his mind for the longest time.